Don't take it personal....we still love you.

We have been so blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives that are curious about our family.

Many people are naturally curious about the boys past.  I think this generally comes from a good, and well meaning place.  These children came to us with a past---and many people are interested in their story.

But here is the thing: It's their story. Not ours. 

Tom and I are both pretty up front people. If you ask us a direct question we will give you a direct answer--- so if you ask a question about the boys or our family and we dodge it, you might find yourself a little confused.

Here's where we are at: Abe and Manye have been through so much ugly. Things that NO child should ever experience and it breaks our hearts. Part of our job as their parents is to provide them with a safe and loving atmosphere where they can heal---and we believe they will. God will restore and redeem all that has been broken, HE has a plan for them. No doubt about it.

  One way we feel we can keep them safe is by making sure they do not find themselves under a microscope---feeling as if they have to share their story with the world. 

Trauma is ugly. It's not dinner conversation...it is someone's pain.

So family and friends: If you are close to us---please to not push us to share and most importantly do not expect for the children to share. They do not owe it to anyone. Asking them to open up old wounds is not ok---just meet them where they are at, and do your best to love them. Please know that if we dodge a question it is not that we don't trust you......we just want to respect our children and this is the best way we know how. If you see us parenting in ways you think looks strange---please know there is probably a good reason.

We are dealing with these issues--and rest assured we are being proactive in the way we address the trauma. Trust that we are doing our best.

All that being said, we do need prayers and I need to feel like I can ask for prayers with out putting forth every single detail. We have seen your prayers working every step of the way....please don't stop lifting us up because this can be a heavy load to carry.

If you absolutely feel like you want to ask a question please do not ask the kids---or in front of the kids. Ask Tom or myself and give us a little grace if we dodge ya----it's nothing personal. We are just parents trying to protect our children the best we can.