Just a normal(?) day...

I am not sure what happened.

I was having a pretty good day, and I was getting alot done.

But then my mind started to wander to our adoption paperwork, and all that I needed to do.

Suddenly like a wave, this sadness hit me.

I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to fill out these papers, and write these checks. I just want to love this child. I want to bring her home.

When you are pregnant, you know the waiting is going to be over after 9 months. You will hold your child, and kiss her face in just 9 months. With adoption---I don't know how long we will wait.

Waiting is the worst. I am not known for being good at waiting on anything. I like progress. I like timelines. If things aren't getting done fast enough, I find a way to speed things up.

Not so with adoption. I can push, but it doesn't mean things will speed up.

I have to wait.
I have to be patient.
I need to trust God's timing.

I am trying.
Today is harder than usual.

I found out recently that "G"  was not born in a hospital. She was born in her village, and doesn't have a birth certificate.

You should see her village.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around a child being born in those conditions. I know it happens everyday.

But, if only you could see her village......

We will never know her exact birthday or any details about her birth.

That makes me sad.

Mia has been saying since day 1 that they are "twins" so when I shared with Mia that we won't be able to find out "G's" birthday, she just shrugged and said " Mom, I told you we are twins! We have the same birthday!" Then she promptly walked away.

I love that girl. She has such a sweet faith.

As for me....I am hanging on this promise today.

Matthew 18:1-5

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

I am trying to have a faith like sweet little Mia as we prepare to welcome this child into our home.

Some days are easier than others.

Keepin' myself on track.....

I have really come to realize how important it is to have goals....

Not just for big things, but even for simple everyday things.

 I am not even sure if anyone reads this blog or not. But putting some goals on here will make me feel more accountable so here it goes.....

Mom stuff:

• Read for at least 15 minutes each night with both kids.
• Get at least 3 forms completed and notarized for our dossier. ( By far the hardest for me, because paperwork is my nemesis!)
• Bake with the kids once this week.
• Paint with Mia this week.
• Help Aidan cook dinner one night this week

Home Stuff:

• Bake Banana Bread (some to eat and some to freeze)
• Bake something yummy for our new neighbors
• Make a weekly meal plan, cut coupons....and save some darn money!
• Homemade Breadsticks ( some to eat and some to freeze)
• Clean out Mia's closet
• Call Dish--to cancel or lower bill.....
• Dinner Devotions everyday!

Wifey stuff:

• Make Tom an anniversary gift
• Plan a date night
• Read the bible with my hubby each night.
• Find a way to encourage Tom daily.

Me stuff:

• Finish reading: Red Letter Revolution by Shane Claibourne
• Clean out my closet---donate half.
• Paint magnets to sell as an adoption fundraiser
• Spend more time in God's Word
• Find someone to encourage
• Visit homeless shelter in Sandusky
• Get a haircut----because I am starting to look a little crazy!
• Update blog at least 5 times this week... ( this post counts!)

Well---this doesn't include work goals. But I know I need to be more intentional at home---so this is my attempt to stay focused.

Not too exciting I know....

Do you have any goals this week? I would love to hear about them! Feel free to leave a comment ( as long as it is friendly!)

Here is to a more productive week! ( Crossing them out as I go!)

Not very pregnant.....

When you have a bun in the oven, people excuse the fact that all you seem to be able to talk about is the little baby growing inside of you.

I get it. I had two. It is such a precious time in a mother's life. So much anticipation.

I am not very pregnant.

 But, we are expecting a child.

We are so excited to bring this child into our family, even with the challenges she is sure to bring.  Sometimes, I want to talk about her all the time.

I want to daydream. I want to picture our lives with this little girl in it. I want to figure out how I am going to deal with her hair, and I want to picture my two girls in matching pajamas.

The only thing is.....I am not very pregnant.

People don't get it. They can't understand my excitement over a child I "don't really know." She is a child of God, and she is precious in his sight. She matters.

 The strangest thing happens when you decide to adopt.

Your heart changes. It stretches, and is forced to grow.

The day I met G, it was like God tied a little thread to her heart and attached it to mine. Even though we are a world apart, I can feel the tug of her on my heart. Sometimes she pulls, and I can feel the heavy weight of her burdens.

Sometimes, it feels like my heart might rip out of my chest.

I have seen the same changes in the hearts of everyone in our family.

Especially Mia.

 She prays for her sister constantly. She dreams of her sister, colors pictures of her and is always talking about getting a bunk bed for the two of them ( this detail has yet to be determined!)      

We have had alot of ups and downs.

There have been days when I have thought adopting G was "too much of a long shot" because the circumstances of our adoption are so unique.

Tom is always so steady.

He just says: "Its going to be ok....because she is ours." For him it is really that simple. He doesn't even seem to waiver in his faith about this.

She is ours.

Jen Hatmaker - The Election: Thoughts From a Christian Independent

    

 During this election season, I, like many of you are struggling with the non-stop political banter.

    And this is coming from me---a self declared political junkie.

    I am watching my Christian friends act as if the world depends solely on this current election alone.

 I struggle to find a balance between being an advocate for issues that I think are important, while at the same time remembering not to take all of the politics too seriously.

Afterall, there is only one power that really matters in the end, and it is the power of our Lord Jesus Christ. Whoever wins---God already knew they would. It is not beyond HIS control and all things will work according to HIS purposes.

       I have had many friends question me for not swearing alligence to any particular party. I struggle with a way to answer them without sounding too harsh. The truth is--it doesn't matter. And while I do vote, and also advocate for many issues, I do not believe our government is the answer to every problem we have.

But today, I came across this article and it was so great I had to share. It really articulates alot of my same feelings about politics and Christians.

Check it out! I hope you read it with an open heart.

Jen Hatmaker - The Election: Thoughts From a Christian Independent