Just a normal(?) day...

I am not sure what happened.

I was having a pretty good day, and I was getting alot done.

But then my mind started to wander to our adoption paperwork, and all that I needed to do.

Suddenly like a wave, this sadness hit me.

I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to fill out these papers, and write these checks. I just want to love this child. I want to bring her home.

When you are pregnant, you know the waiting is going to be over after 9 months. You will hold your child, and kiss her face in just 9 months. With adoption---I don't know how long we will wait.

Waiting is the worst. I am not known for being good at waiting on anything. I like progress. I like timelines. If things aren't getting done fast enough, I find a way to speed things up.

Not so with adoption. I can push, but it doesn't mean things will speed up.

I have to wait.
I have to be patient.
I need to trust God's timing.

I am trying.
Today is harder than usual.

I found out recently that "G"  was not born in a hospital. She was born in her village, and doesn't have a birth certificate.

You should see her village.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around a child being born in those conditions. I know it happens everyday.

But, if only you could see her village......

We will never know her exact birthday or any details about her birth.

That makes me sad.

Mia has been saying since day 1 that they are "twins" so when I shared with Mia that we won't be able to find out "G's" birthday, she just shrugged and said " Mom, I told you we are twins! We have the same birthday!" Then she promptly walked away.

I love that girl. She has such a sweet faith.

As for me....I am hanging on this promise today.

Matthew 18:1-5

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

I am trying to have a faith like sweet little Mia as we prepare to welcome this child into our home.

Some days are easier than others.