Not very pregnant.....

When you have a bun in the oven, people excuse the fact that all you seem to be able to talk about is the little baby growing inside of you.

I get it. I had two. It is such a precious time in a mother's life. So much anticipation.

I am not very pregnant.

 But, we are expecting a child.

We are so excited to bring this child into our family, even with the challenges she is sure to bring.  Sometimes, I want to talk about her all the time.

I want to daydream. I want to picture our lives with this little girl in it. I want to figure out how I am going to deal with her hair, and I want to picture my two girls in matching pajamas.

The only thing is.....I am not very pregnant.

People don't get it. They can't understand my excitement over a child I "don't really know." She is a child of God, and she is precious in his sight. She matters.

 The strangest thing happens when you decide to adopt.

Your heart changes. It stretches, and is forced to grow.

The day I met G, it was like God tied a little thread to her heart and attached it to mine. Even though we are a world apart, I can feel the tug of her on my heart. Sometimes she pulls, and I can feel the heavy weight of her burdens.

Sometimes, it feels like my heart might rip out of my chest.

I have seen the same changes in the hearts of everyone in our family.

Especially Mia.

 She prays for her sister constantly. She dreams of her sister, colors pictures of her and is always talking about getting a bunk bed for the two of them ( this detail has yet to be determined!)      

We have had alot of ups and downs.

There have been days when I have thought adopting G was "too much of a long shot" because the circumstances of our adoption are so unique.

Tom is always so steady.

He just says: "Its going to be ok....because she is ours." For him it is really that simple. He doesn't even seem to waiver in his faith about this.

She is ours.